I am Mexican. I am also Spanish, Italian, and French. However, I identify with my Mexican culture the most due to my upbringing and the fact that I am mostly Mexican [somewhere around three-quarters]. I was born and raised in Los Angeles, the city that has the largest Latino population in the United States. I did not grow up learning Spanish, I don't think I even started speaking Spanish until my first trip to Mexico when I was about 9 years old, maybe? I don't remember how old I was. Bottom line: I am not a fluent Spanish-speaker, it is not my "mother tongue" and no, I don't want to just bust out a Spanish phrase for your entertainment.
Recently, in a few of my classes, I have been made quite uncomfortable and angry with the characteristics that people have identified as being part of the Mexican identity. Family-focused, extremely [and ridiculously] religious, low-income, conservative [Republican], oppressed [especially women by men]. Maybe I have been completely oblivious to all of this, but where in the actual fuck did people contrive these notions of a Mexican stereotype?
Let me explain a little bit of my life to you. My family is one of the most dysfunctional things I have ever experienced. Of course, I would love to have a family that is extremely close and tight-knit, but that's not the reality. I see my cousins maybe once a year [and it's been that way throughout the majority of my life, not just since I left for college], my mom never talks to her brothers, and I could really care less if my father was involved in my life or not. From the day he decided to try to control me and my sister, he lost u. He does not exude the stereotypical male, Mexican, gender ideal. He is not Machismo, he does not control me or my sister or my mom in any way, at all, and he hasn't had that control since the day my mom left him. Actually, he didn't even have it while my parents were together. My mom was the money-maker, the provider, the one who "brought home the bacon" and put food on the table and put me through school. And it's actually still that way. My father doesn't pay for anything, he doesn't do anything. He has no say in my life or my choices. I am not just some woman who is controlled by, protected by and subject to some man's wishes or needs or demands. I don't know why people continue to believe that the Latino culture is full of women who willingly fall victim to dominating men who control their lives and actions.
Even more so, I am not religious. Sure, I went to a private, Catholic school from first grade until my senior year of high school, but I am most definitely not religious. The last time I went to church was for my cousin's wedding in November of 2009. Before that, I think it was for my high school graduation. The only reason I ever went to church on a regular basis was because it was factored into my school's schedule. But, even then, it wasn't very often. Sure, I've been baptized, received my first communion and reconciliation. But that's about as far as I got. My parents didn't even baptize me at birth, they waited for me to decide what I wanted to do. And even then, I think the only reason why I want to do it was so that I could partake in my class' activities. In second grade, everyone was to receive their first communion and it was a BIG deal. If I wasn't baptized before that day, I would not be able to receive it. So, in order to not be left out, I got baptized. When the time rolled around to start taking classes to receive my confirmation [the next holy sacrament of the Catholic Church], I didn't. I didn't want to. Why would I waste my time stuck in a room full of strict Catholics when I don't agree with over half of the bullshit they feed people? I am not religious. I made the very conscious decision to stop going to Church when I was a freshman in high school, when my school no longer required us to attend a weekly mass during the week. I don't pray, I couldn't tell you the last time I seriously prayed to God. It was probably sometime in grade school. Why do people still think that all Latinos are God-loving and fearing Catholics who go to church every week and adore their pastors and priests and fall on their knees to pray at every chance they get?
As I mentioned, I went to a private, Catholic school my entire life and I am now enrolled in a private, liberal arts university. I'm lucky. Sure, I'm not the richest person in the world, I can't afford a lot of things and financial instability has been a recurring theme in my life. But I'm not poor. I'm not living in the ghetto with gunshots going off every night and where I have to fear for my safety when I walk down the street. Maybe that would have been my life had my grandmother not taken us in when my mom left my father. But she did take us in and that is not my life. I live in a decent area. Granted, it's not the nicest or ritziest part of Los Angeles and I would love to live somewhere else, but it's decent. I'm not poor, my family is able to afford plenty of food, clothes, etc. Sometimes we may pinch our pennies, but it's nothing compared to people who are actually impoverished, like the [white] man living in a cardboard box down the street or the [white] man who used to go through my father's and his neighbors' trash cans looking for recyclables. I am not a victim of poverty and I don't understand why people continue to see Latinos as being people living in horrible areas of the city, struggling to survive.
Another idea is the Latino as a conservative Republican-voting entity. My mom hasn't ever voted Republican, my immediate family includes some of the most Liberal people you will ever meet. We are a family of non-religious, free-speaking, and individualized-thinking artists. We are pro-choice. We are pro-whatever-the-fuck-kind-of-person-you-want-to-marry marriage. We are pro-health care. We are pro-Planned Parenthood. Do these seem like conservative positions to you? I didn't think so.
Coming to the Pacific Northwest and to a university that has the following demographics has been eye-opening and life-changing.
I have never felt so isolated and victimized in my life. I never realized how oblivious people were to different cultures. It shocked me to realize that people didn't understand the effect that their words, passing judgments and preconceived ideas of certain cultures had on other people - the people to which they attributed those judgments and stereotypes. I also can't believe how naive I was throughout the eighteen years of my life before college. I guess I never realized how discriminatory people can really be and that makes me feel kind of stupid. What kind of world was I living in where I thought that most people would not single someone out based off of their skin color or cultural background? I guess the reason why I have such a difficult time with this is that I grew up in such a diverse area and around such a diverse group of people, that I was never really singled out like this before. Everyone just took me as I am without having to identify or categorize me as being so different from them, because everyone was different form each other. I hate this idea of pigeon-holing the Latino identity. The term "Latino" is something that was coined by "White" people to identify people of the "New World" and not one that "Latinos" used to identify themselves. If you go to Mexico or El Salvador or Chile or wherever, "Latino" doesn't mean much to people. Instead, people identify themselves as being Mexican or Salvadoran or Chilean. By combining all Latinos into one general group is kind of a ridiculous idea - it should really upset people. The term "Latino" includes so many different people from different cultures, countries, backgrounds, religions, etc., that "Latino" doesn't really identify a specific group. I just don't understand where this whole Latino stereotype came from.
Today I sat through one of my most uncomfortable classes of my life. It was a marketing class and the subject was marketing for Hispanic women in Arizona, thirty years ago, to get pap test to avoid cervical cancer. After a while, my professor asked if any of us are Hispanic [also, he was using the term Hispanic to identify what I think he meant to be the Latino population, but that's an argument for another time] and I raised my hand, being the only Latino [although I am also Hispanic] in the room. Then, he came over to me and asked what the best way is to market for Hispanics, specifically in the way to trigger word-of-mouth marketing. I stumbled over my words, already having felt uncomfortable during his lecture/discussion. Then, he pushed further and asked where would Hispanics go to get information by word-of-mouth. I answered "Family members" - I knew that's what he wanted to hear. He asked how to reach those families and I continued on by saying television is probably the most effective way to reach someone in the home. However, television ads were deemed to be too expensive for this organization that was setting up a clinic at which people could get these tests. So he pushed even further and I didn't have an answer for him. Radio and newspaper had already proven to be ineffective when we first started the conversation. Then he asked me "Do you go to church?" a question that I quickly answered with a "No." And there it was. The Latino stereotype spurting from my professor's mouth. He concluded that the best way was to advertise at churches because, as everyone knows, Latinos absolutely love to go to Church, right? Then, pastors could tell the Church-goers and so on and so forth. This discussion continued on and on for the entirety of my 60-minute class [it's actually an 80-minute class, but the first 20 minutes were spent writing teacher evaluations today]. I grew so uncomfortable and I could feel my face heating up - if I was white, my face would probably have been bright red. I could not stand being in there. I wanted to scream and yell as this bullshit was spewing from, not only the mouth of my professor, but also from the mouths of some of my classmates. I got up and took a breather outside because I could not stand being in that room. When I cam back, they had moved on to the next stereotype: male dominance. The reason why their previous marketing plans had not been working was because they were marketing for a target market of women when they should have marketed for a target market of men. Because we all know that men are the ones who control womens actions and decisions, right? So we need to make sure that the men - the husbands, boyfriends, fathers - were the ones who were informed on this subject and would be okay with this product. Then, when the men had decided that it was okay, women would finally come flocking to the clinics. Thus, the need that needed to be met for the target market of men was safety for their family. Although, one of my classmates stupidly suggested that the need was "dominance over women." What the fuck? Fuck you. No. This whole thing is ridiculous, but to suggest that, pissed me off even more. I could not believe this class. What a great way to end my semester in this class.
By the end of the class, I couldn't stand it at all anymore. Yea, I ended up burning up and finally just crying a little when we were dismissed. I hate this. I hate crying. Especially in front of people. And I hate that I let this get to me so much. I hate that people were able to make me feel so shitty and fucked up due to my cultural background, that I cried. I hate that people are so fucking ignorant and stupid. I can't stand it.
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