Finals Week

I'm sitting in Thompson with Shelby and Katie and we're all attempting to study for the coming week of finals. Shelby's studying Biology, Katie's studying Math, and I'm studying Music History. I'm writing out a list of terms for the class and hoping to get some other things done. However, I've been extremely distracted for the entire time that I've been here and actually have no motivation to even study very hard for this test. I think I've accepted the fact that I'm probably gonna get a B in this class and I'm okay with it. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Maybe i should be completely motivated to kick ass on this final and maybe get an A. But, honestly, at this point, I just don't care that much. I have 2 more classes to take in order to finish this minor and I've already planned out when I can and will take them.
In my list of terms, the word Sprechstimme came up and I was reminded of this past summer in Ojai. A few of us interns went to Ventura for dinner and to make a copy of the score of George Benjamin's Into The Little Hill for Margaret to use; at least, I think this is the right time I'm thinking of. Nonetheless, there was a time when we were driving to Ventura and I remember Sprechstimme came up in the conversation. I had no idea what it was and Josh explained it to me be demonstrating. It's an interesting technique and now that I read the definition provided in my textbook, - "Speech-voice"; a vocal technique in which the singer declaims, rather than sings, a text at only approximate pitch levels - I think Josh's explanation was a much better one.
I don't really know why I'm writing about this. Maybe it's the feelings of nostalgia that were brought about by this random memory of Ojai. Sometimes I just wish I didn't have to go to school anymore and worry about studying for tests and finals or writing research papers or doing presentations or projects. I know what I want to do with my life. I know how to get there. I know where to apply for internships. I've already built a fairly strong network of people. All I want to do is have a couple more awesome internships and then dive right in. Why must I endure two and a half more years of taking classes that stress me out and in which I'm okay with just getting Bs? I hate this lack of motivation. I know that if I were to be working in the real world, doing what I want to do and what I love, I would not be this unmotivated. I would be so passionate about it and would put everything I have into it. I think that's how I was this past summer in Ojai. I did everything I could, helped out in any way needed and possible, and I didn't want it to end. That's how life should be and that's how I knew that I loved it so much.
I wish I felt the same way about all of my classes: passionate about them, putting strenuous amounts of effort into every assignment, studying hard, and excited for the next topic. Instead, I'm sitting in this building, completely distracted and doing everything but studying - hence, the composition of this post. Maybe I should try to study, again. I might move to Diversions soon, instead. I know it sounds counterintuitive, but I like doing school work in there; I can actually concentrate. Everyone always says that they are so distracted whenever they try to study in Diversions, but it's kind of like my home base. I feel comfortable and can get work done there. Now, another attempt at studying. Good luck with finals, everyone! Hopefully you've been more productive than I have and will do well on them.